Setting Expectations
Misaligned expectations are one of the most common reasons mentoring relationships go sideways, even when both a mentor and mentee have good intentions. When expectations are implicit, mentees are left guessing how to prepare, how often to reach out, what kind of feedback is “normal,” and what success looks like. Making expectations explicit or visible creates a shared reference point. This directly reduces the “hidden curriculum” problem, whereby only some mentees are advantaged, but not others, simply because they already know unspoken norms or feel more comfortable asking.
Written agreements are one practical way to build transparency. Putting expectations in writing (goals, meeting rhythm, communication norms, feedback expectations, boundaries, confidentiality, and follow-up) reduces misunderstandings, supports accountability on both sides, and makes it easier to revisit and adjust as needs change. This can be a formal compact or a simple email that captures what you agreed to.
Setting expectations does not require a formal contract; it can happen over email or in the first few minutes of a conversation. The key is transparency about goals, communication, feedback, boundaries, and what follow-up is expected, so the relationship can support learning and growth without guesswork.